january reflections

I can't believe that it's the end of January already. This month has been surreal. I feel like I didn't really even exist this whole month. I didn't feel like a person. I didn't feel like me. I was just going through the motions and trying not to think too much. Because when I did start to think too much I would start crying. This has certainly not been the easiest month for me. Obviously.
But I know that I'm still here. I'm still alive and so is my family. I still have friends and I know that people care about me. And that God has plans for my life. I have no idea what they are, but I know that he does.
I guess, for the moment, I'm excited for my future. I'm excited to get out of this school and move on. I know it won't all be easy. I mean, if January 2012 has taught me anything it's that life is not easy. We make plans and then those plans change. Hopefully they change for the better. I'm trying not to freak out too much. Which is slightly laughable since I freak out about everything. But I've been fine so far. So what's to worry about?

I'm not actually this calm. But I'm going to fake it until I make it.