I'm sitting here overhearing a conversation between a group of women at my school. And they're all talking about their weight. Why is it that we (especially young women) always have conversations about weight? It's just a number. Why do we make it so much more than that?
I've never been skinny. I will never be skinny. And it's a fight every day for me to accept my body for what it is. And it makes it harder when skinny, beautiful women call themselves fat. Because if they're fat, what am I?
Some days, I look in the mirror and I feel beautiful. Some days I don't. But it's something I don't talk about much. I've always been uncomfortable talking about my weight and my clothing sizes. I am who I am, those numbers don't define me.
I'm just sick of this obsession with weight loss. It seems to be particularly prevalent this year. It's like I can't go anywhere without seeing something about dieting and how you have to be thin to be happy. There's a huge bulletin board outside of the dining hall at my school that has "motivational" pictures and quotes that are supposed to help people be encouraged to lose weight or whatever. And it makes me feel like a failure every time I walk by (usually after meals) because I eat. And I'm not always thinking about how to lose weight. Because there are other more important things.
Why can't we focus on being healthy? Get exercise because it feels good and it's good for your heart. But not to lose weight. Because I know plenty of skinny people who are not happy. And plenty of not so skinny people who are fabulously happy. Weight does not define happiness. Weight should not define happiness. Can we move on now?
I thought that I had moved on to self-acceptance. But this past month has been extremely hard for me to love myself when everything around me is telling me that I'm worthless until I lose weight.
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