piano thoughts

I've been thinking about this a lot and I've wanted to blog about it for a while, but I'm not sure I can put into words what I feel. But I'm going to try.
Music has always been a big part of my life. And I know it's sort of cliche to talk about music like this, but I feel like my musical journey is more than a cliche. I feel like it has more value than that. Anyway, when I was very little (like 3 years old) my mom put me in ballet classes because I would always "dance" around the house whenever there was music playing. I took ballet class (and eventually added some tap to that) for about five years. I stopped taking dance classes at the end of second grade. And it was mostly because I didn't feel like I looked like a dancer. I didn't have the "body type" for it. But that's a topic for another day.
Anyway, after I quit dancing, I switched to piano. I'd always been interested in it and I would always want to "play" whenever I was around a piano. So my parents found me a piano teacher and I loved it. I wanted to play, so practicing wasn't really a chore the way it is for a lot of piano students.
There was one point in about 7th grade where I was getting pretty fed up with a lot of things about my life and I wanted to quit piano. That was the only time that my parents forced me to keep going. And I'm so happy they did. Because I've gotten pretty good at this whole piano thing by now. Which, you know, is probably a good thing, since I've been playing for twelve years.
And I still love it. Honestly, I think it would be amazing to be able to just sit and play piano all day long. No worries or responsibilities, just piano. Lately, during my practice time, I've been having these moments that bring me to tears. I'm just playing along and suddenly there's this chord that is just so magnificent, so poignant, that I just have to stop and cry. It's like I want to hear and play that music forever. But I know that I can't.
And that's the problem. These next two weeks are the last two weeks of piano lessons I will have, at least for the foreseeable future. I'm going to keep playing piano, obviously, but I won't have a teacher anymore. I won't have someone better helping me improve. And this will be a major change in my life. I guess I've just realized how important piano is to me that I can't imagine my life without it. So I'm going to continue playing on my own and see what happens. Piano is too important to me to just stop.