the ends of things

I suppose it is natural for me to be thinking about the ends of things considering the circumstances. I'm graduating and moving on to something completely different and (sort of) yet to be determined. But I wasn't really thinking about things ending until I heard tonight that someone who went to my school last year died in a car accident. I didn't know her really at all. I mean, I knew who she was. It's hard not to know everybody at a school this size. But I never had a conversation with her. I never had a class with her. So I guess I'm not really mourning her because I never knew her. But I'm mourning that her life ended so young. Everything ends. But why did her life have to end so soon? I don't know. I guess the same reason lots of things end before we're ready for them to. Friendships and other relationships end often before we're ready to let go. Childhood ends before we feel all grown up. People die before we're ready to say goodbye.
If everything is so temporary, why do I freak out about everything so much? I'm only on this earth for a short time and then I won't be anymore. In 100 years nothing I do or say now will have an effect on anyone. I don't really know where I'm going with these thoughts. Mostly I'm just thinking out loud (or at least in writing).
Anyway, in a week I am leaving this school forever. Everything about this place will be over for me. It will now only exist in my memories. For some reason, this feels a lot different than leaving high school did. I'm not sure why. I think maybe because my home is still two blocks from my high school. I'm coming back home and I'm sure, in some respects, it will feel like I never left. But I'm not coming back here. I also went to school with the same people I went to high school with for my entire childhood. Even though I don't see most of them anymore, I still feel like they are part of my home. I don't feel the same way about people I met in college. I have only known them for two years, if that. It feels really soon to say goodbye to all of this. But I also feel like I've been here forever.
So basically I'm terrified of my future, but I'm also sort of not. I'm excited. I think. I think I just have to continually remind myself that everything ends and I should make the best of it while it's happening. I know it sounds super cliched, but it's true.